Find the sun

As the parent of a special needs child, there are and will be times when depression will chew you up and spit you out. You must find ways to keep it from pulling you under. You're whole life cannot be about this one problem. Sure you can let it, but you will lose yourself in the abyss. All things go in waves. Sometimes all your focus and energy will be spent on your child. That's a good thing; your child will benefit from that. But you are a person, an individual, who has private delights and pursuits. Don't ignore the things you like to do, do them! Your mind and emotions need breaks. I know it might sound stupid to say, get a hobby, but here I go. Get a hobby. Do something that brings you peace. As the parent of a special child, you know not to discount the value of little things. Keep you chin up and if you have to chase the sun, then chase it.

Information you must have

If you don't know about Rick Lavoie, it's time you learned. I put a link up on the side to his website. Of all of the books/videos/advice I've had over the last five years, I've not found anything to compare with Rick Lavoie. You must watch these videos, and then watch them again. Your library might have them to check out,they are a little pricey to purchase. I bought mine from the PBS archives, but it was some of the best money I've ever spent. I recommend that you buy them so that you can watch them any time you need to refresh your knowledge and your patients. Remember that no matter how hard it is to have a special needs child, it's harder to be the special needs child. You child is suffering in ways you cannot imagine. These videos helped me learn how to love my child the way he needed. You can do it! Smile and think about the good things.

I don't have a fortune!

"How can I help my child? I don't have endless income! I can barely pay my bills. It's all good for Jenny McCarthy, but I can't afford a fraction of this stuff." Sound familiar? These might be the thoughts running through your head. So what do you do? Can you help your child on a budget? YES! You just have to know what to spend your money on.
1. Don't spend a fortune on books about autism. Go to the library. Search online.
2. Get services through the school system and check with your insurance, some pay for speech therapy.
3. Don't buy special music therapy CDs. Most are nothing more that classical music. You can get classical music CDs at Ross for $1.50.
4. If all you can buy is supplements, do that! If I had to take it to the bare bones, supplements would be what I would fight to have.
5. Make your child go outside. Most of our kids love the indoors, force them out.The sun is free and one of the best chelators around. If your child is toxic a
good sweat coupled with UV and vitamin D from the sun will help.
6. Want to put an air filter in your child's room? Buy a spider plant instead and hang it from the ceiling. You'll save around $40-$100.
These are just a few things you can do. I'll continue to post more ideas for saving money in the future. Hang in there! Love your child the way they need to be loved.

Remember G.I. Joe?

There's a lot of information flying around these days about biomedical treatments. Maybe you've looked into these, maybe you're doing them, maybe you're a big skeptic and you think the claims of some parents is just the result of desperation mixed with some kind of placebo effect. Chelation sounds risky, not to mention expensive, GF/CF diet sounds difficult, not to mention expensive, Hyperbaric oxygen therapy seems silly, not to mention expensive, supplements, O.T., speech therapy, music therapy, and on and on it goes. Did I mention it's all expensive?
You might wonder, is your child toxic? Is that the cause? Do they have a leaky gut? Is that the real problem? Should you get your child tested, or just wait until the main stream has some pharmaceutical solution? My advice to you is remember G.I. Joe.
I didn't watch the cartoon as a child but my husband did. At the end of each show, G.I. Joe would give you a little life lesson after which he would say, "Now you know and knowing is half the battle."
Getting your child tested gives you a base to start with. Your local D.A.N doctor can run these tests for you. The testing does not cost all that much and if you want to try biomedical treatments, the testing will save you money in the long run. You don't want to waste your time and money treating the wrong thing. I'm cheering for you. Smile and think about the good things.

You're running out of time

A few years ago, one of my main thoughts was wondering how to keep pushing myself forward with my son's treatment. I happened to be cleaning off the counter top and came across an old shopping list on a 3x5 card. Inspiration struck. I turned the card over, grabbed a marker, and wrote: you're running out of time. I put the card on my fridge and was amazed at how looking at that simple sentence throughout the day helped me. The next time my in-laws were over, my father-in-law asked, "Running out of time for what?"
"Everything," I said.
My little saying on the card certainly goes across the board, but what about our kids? We are running out of time! You only have a few years to aggressively help recover your child. It is an ever shrinking window. The older they get, the smaller the window gets. Don't waste time wallowing or being lazy, your sweet child will pay the price. I'm here as your cheering section! Now kick your own butt, if you need to. You're running out of time!

The darkest day of my life

For you parents of autistic children, I don't need to remind you of that day. That dark, dark day that you really faced it for the first time. The day you looked at your child and knew, there's something wrong. That day was five years ago for me. I try not to think about that day, but it will always be with me. That day was so painful, even now, after all this time, I can feel it like it was yesterday. You know what I mean.
Having an autistic child will not only change your lifestyle, it will destroy it. You will be crushed under anger, sorrow, depression, confusion, and desperation. You and you child will be ostracized. Your spouse might leave you. Your pediatrician might dump you. And God forbid, but even the members of your Church might tell you not to come back.
You might be a veteran or just beginning on this journey, but there is comfort knowing that you are not alone. The pain is always there, it might be dull today or it might be acute. So where is the joy? It's there too. Joy and happiness are not the same things. You will never be happy that your child has autism, but there can be joy in the triumphs of the steps they make. Being joyful is a choice I try to make daily. It's one you can make, too. No matter where you are, it could always be worse. Life is short, so focus on the good today.